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Experts are concerned that the incidence of domestic and family violence will increase due to the COVID-19 restrictions, but the statistic are already shocking.

In Australia, domestic and family violence is against the law. A person who commits these crimes, can go to jail, whether they are a man or a woman.

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare’s report, “Family, domestic and sexual violence in Australia 2018” shows that violence occurs across all ages and all socio-economic and demographic groups, but predominantly affects women and children. One in 4-6 women, since the age of 15, has experienced emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse by a current or former partner; while one in 6-20 men, since the age of 15, has experienced emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse by a current or former partner.

From 2012–13 to 2013–14, about 1 woman a week and 1 man a month were killed as a result of violence from a current or previous partner (Bryant & Bricknell 2017).

Some groups of people are at greater risk of family, domestic and sexual violence, particularly Indigenous women, young women, pregnant women, women separating from their partners, women with disability and women experiencing financial hardship. Women and men who experienced abuse or witnessed domestic violence as children (before the age of 15) are also at increased risk.

Nearly 2.1 million women and men witnessed violence towards their mother by a partner, and nearly 820,000 witnessed violence towards their father, before the age of 15. People who, as children, witnessed partner violence against their parents were 2–4 times as likely to experience partner violence themselves (as adults) as people who had not (Australian Bureau of Statistics 2017).

What is Domestic and Family Violence?

Domestic and family violence includes behaviour or threats that aim to control a male or female partner by causing fear or threatening their safety. Domestic and family violence can include:

  • Hitting, slapping, being kicked, being hit with a fist or other item (weapon), being dragged by clothing or hair, for example;
  • Pushing, shoving;
  • having something thrown at you that could hurt you;
  • being burnt on purpose (eg, with a cigarette, a lighter/matches, an iron, stove top);
  • choking;
  • sexual assault such as being forced to have intercourse when you didn’t want to or because you were afraid of what your partner would do if you said no, being forced to do something sexual that you found to be humiliating or degrading, being forced to watch pornography when you didn’t want to, being forced by your partner to have sex with someone else (other than your partner);
  • threats to harm;
  • denying essential money to the partner or family;
  • isolating the partner from friends and family;
  • insulting or constantly criticising the partner; and/or
  • threatening children or pets.

Domestic and family violence is often cyclic and the well-known process is represented by the Cycle of Violence diagram below.

People who experience domestic and family violence can often identify this cycle within their relationship.

Children at Risk

The risk to children of domestic and family violence is significant.

People who abuse their partners are highly likely to also assault their children. Pagelow (1989) found that at least half of all violent partners (most often men) also assault their children. The more severe the abuse of the partner, the worse the child abuse (Bowker, Arbitell, and McFerron, 1988).

Bowker, Arbitell, and McFerron (1988) also found that abuse of children is also more likely when the relationship is dissolving or the couple has separated. This is especially the case where the abusive partner is highly committed to continued dominance of their former partner and children. It is well-known that the time following separation is often the most dangerous time for the partner and children.

This is due to the fact that the abuse is directed at subjugating, controlling, and isolating. When an abused partner has separated from their abuser and is seeking to establish autonomy and independence, the abuser’s struggle to control and dominate may increase and may turn to abuse and subjugation of the children as a tactic of dominance and control of their mother (Stark and Flitcraft, 1988; Bowker, Arbitell, and McFerron, 1988).

Abusers often harm children as a punishment for their former partner for daring to leave them. Abusive partners often use custodial access to the children as a tool to terrorize their former partners or to retaliate for separation. Custodial interference is one of the few abusive tactics available to an abuser after separation; thus, it is not surprising that it is used extensively.

Hilberman and Munson (1977-78), found that older children are frequently assaulted when they intervene to defend or protect their mothers, with daughters more likely than sons to become victims of the abusive husband (Dobash and Dobash, 1979).

Abuse of the female partner is also the context for sexual abuse of female children. Where the mother is assaulted by the father, daughters are exposed to a risk of sexual abuse 6.51 times greater than girls in non-abusive families (Bowker, Arbitell, and McFerron, 1988).

Where a male is the perpetrator of child abuse, one study demonstrated that there is a 70 percent chance that any injury to the child will be severe and 80 percent of child fatalities within the family are attributable to fathers or father surrogates, such as step-fathers or mother’s boyfriends or de facto partners. (Bergman, Larsen, and Mueller, 1986).

In her article, “Assessing Whether Batterers Will Kill” (1990), Hart outlined that the likelihood of homicide is greater where the following factors are present:

  • Threats of homicide or suicide. The abuser who has threatened to kill himself, his partner, the children or her relatives must be considered extremely dangerous.
  • Fantasies of homicide or suicide. The more the abuser has developed a fantasy about who, how, when, and/or where to kill, the more dangerous he may be. The abuser who has previously acted out part of a homicide or suicide fantasy may be invested in killing as a viable “solution” to his problems. As in suicide assessment, the more detailed the plan and the more available the method, the greater the risk.
  • Weapons. Where an abuser possesses weapons and has used them or has threatened to use them in the past in his assaults on the abused woman, the children or himself, his access to those weapons increases his potential for lethal assault. The use of guns is a strong predictor of homicide. If an abuser has a history of arson or the threat of arson, fire should be considered a weapon.
  • “Ownership” of the abused partner. The abuser who says “Death before Divorce!” or “You belong to me and will never belong to another!” may be stating his fundamental belief that the woman has no right to life separate from him. An abuser who believes he is absolutely entitled to his female partner, her services, her obedience and her loyalty, no matter what, is likely to be life-endangering.
  • Centrality of the partner. A man who idolizes his female partner, or who depends heavily on her to organize and sustain his life, or who has isolated himself from all other community, may retaliate against a partner who decides to end the relationship. He rationalizes that her “betrayal” justifies his lethal retaliation.
  • Separation Violence. When an abuser believes that he is about to lose his partner, if he can’t envision life without her or if the separation causes him great despair or rage, he may choose to kill.
  • Depression. Where an abuser has been acutely depressed and sees little hope for moving beyond the depression, he may be a candidate for homicide and suicide. Research shows that many men who are hospitalized for depression have homicidal fantasies directed at family members.
  • Access to the abused woman and/or to family members. If the abuser cannot find her, he cannot kill her. If he does not have access to the children, he cannot use them as a means of access to the abused woman. Careful safety planning and police assistance are required for those times when contact is required, e.g. court appearances and custody exchanges.
  • Repeated outreach to law enforcement. Partner or spousal homicide almost always occurs in a context of historical violence. Prior calls to the police indicate elevated risk of life-threatening conduct. The more calls, the greater the potential danger.
  • Escalation of abuser risk. A less obvious indicator of increasing danger may be the sharp escalation of personal risk undertaken by an abuser; when an abuser begins to act without regard to the legal or social consequences that previously constrained his violence, chances of lethal assault increase significantly.
  • Hostage-taking. A hostage-taker is at high risk of inflicting homicide. Between 75% and 90% of all hostage takings are related to domestic violence situations.

Everyone has the right to live free from violence, in a happy relationship and community. People do not have to accept being treated badly or harmed.

Author: Merryl Gee, BSocWk, AMHSW, CSW, MAASW, MACSW, MANZMHA, MAAFT

References:

  • Australian Bureau of Statistics (2017) Personal Safety Survey 2016. ABS cat. no. 4906.0. Canberra: ABS.
  • Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2018) Family, domestic and sexual violence in Australia 2018.
  • Bergman, A., Larsen, R.M., and Mueller, B. (1986). “Changing spectrum of Serious Child Abuse.”
    Pediatrics, 77 (1).
  • Bowker, L.H., Arbitell, M., & McFerron, J. R. (1988). “On the Relationship Between Wife Beating and Child Abuse.” In K. Yllo and M. Bograd (Eds.), Perspectives on Wife Abuse. Newbury
    Park, CA: Sage.
  • Bryant & Bricknell (2017) Homicide in Australia 2012–13 to 2013–14: National Homicide Monitoring Program Report. Canberra: AIC.
  • Department of Child Protection, Western Australia (2015) Fact Sheet 2: Indicators of family and domestic violence Retrieved 26-04-2020 from https://www.dcp.wa.gov.au/CrisisAndEmergency/FDV/Documents/2015/Factsheet2Indicatorsoffamilyanddomesticviolence.pdf
  • Dobash, R. E. & Dobash, R. P. (1979). Violence Against Wives. New York: Free Press.
  • Hart, Barbera J. (1992) “Children of Domestic Violence: Risks and Remedies” in Minnesota Centre Against Violence and Abuse, Barbera J. Hart’s Collected Writings Pp 12-17.
  • Hart, Barbera J. (1990) “Assessing Whether Batterers Will Kill” in Minnesota Centre Against Violence and Abuse, Barbera J. Hart’s Collected Writings Pp 1-2.
  • Hilberman, E. and Munson, K. (1977-78). “Sixty Battered Women.” Victimology: An International Journal, 2 (3-4).
  • Jaffe, P., Wolfe, D.W., & Wilson, S. (1990). Children of Battered Women: Issues in Child Development and Intervention Planning. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
  • Pagelow, M. (1989). “The Forgotten Victims: Children of Domestic Violence.” Paper prepared for presentation at the Domestic Violence Seminar of the Los Angeles County Domestic Violence Council.
  • Rosenbaum, A. and O’Leary, K.D. (1981). “Children: The Unintended Victims of Marital Violence.” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 5 (14).
  • Stark, E. & Flitcraft, A. (1988). “Women and Children at Risk: A Feminist Perspective on Child Abuse.” International Journal of Health Services, 18, (1), 97-118.
  • Walker, L. E. (1984). The Battered Woman Syndrome. Springer.
  • Wallerstein, J.S. and Kelly, J.B. (1980). Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce. New York: Basic Books.

 

Choose Your Hard – A Gentle Call to Conscious Living

May 2025 | Mental Health, WELLBEING | 0 comments

Parental Alienation

Separation and divorce can put enormous pressure on families, especially families with young children. Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to eradicate the relationship between the children and the other parent, and it makes the difficulty of separation even worse. So, what is the impact of parental alienation on both the alienated parent and children involved, and how is this issue handled under Australian family law?

Over my 30+ year professional experience, I have seen multiple cases of parental alienation perpetrated by both mothers and fathers. Parental separation in itself does not necessarily harm children. However, ongoing conflict between parents, including parental alienation activities, most assuredly does harm children. Offending parents often tell me that they are keeping their children safe from their other parent. In my experience, the motivations for such behaviour are generally much more to do with punishing or hurting their former partner or taking revenge on their former partner than protecting their children. Clearly, there are legitimate situations when children’s safety and well-being must be given priority. However, these situations are best dealt with through legal means.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental Alienation, or Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), is a term coined by Richard Gardner, an?American psychiatrist,?in 1985 and describes the act of one parent turning their child or children against the other parent. Tactics and strategies often used in this type of conduct include emotional manipulation, programming and brainwashing.

What this ultimately leads to is a damaged relationship between the alienated parent and their children. Both the alienated parent and children are also at risk of suffering severe psychological trauma as a result of these malicious and false allegations.

This term is widely used and accepted in?Australian family law?cases, especially when it comes to high-conflict custody and parenting disputes.

What Are Some Examples of Parental Alienation?

There are many examples of parental alienation, but some common examples that I have seen in my professional practice include:

  • Criticising or belittling the other parent in front of the child;
  • Sharing unnecessary details of the separation or divorce with the child;
  • Using the child to ‘spy’ or share information about the other parent;
  • Deliberately making the child unavailable to the other parent;
  • Suggesting the child has been abused or harassed by the other parent without any evidence, and;
  • Monitoring phone calls and other forms of communication between the child and the other parent.

What is Parental Alienation Syndrome?

Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) involves a child’s unwarranted rejection of one parent in response to the attitudes and actions of the other parent. This often causes children a great deal of emotional and psychological harm. They often feel guilty and torn by having to choose between loving both of their parents.

PAS is often seen in high-conflict divorcing couples and parents who believe that the other parent has or will turn the children against them. PAS results in alienated children refusing to see a parent, adults who are still alienated from a parent, or elders who have “lost” their grandchildren to parental alienation.

People may enter individual therapy presenting with anxiety, depression, or relationship problems and later reveal that they have been cut off from one parent by another parent during childhood. These people may be unaware of the meaning of the lost relationship and may even minimise its effect on their growth, development, and current mental health concerns.

Children referred to a counsellor for acting out or experiencing academic problems may casually reveal that they have no contact with a “hated” parent. When questioned about the absent parent, these children may vehemently denounce the parent as “good riddance to bad rubbish.” The family of such a child may be manoeuvring behind the scenes to exclude the other parent from the child’s school life by mis-representing that parent’s intentions to school staff, withholding information from that parent to create the appearance of a lack of interest, and removing contact information from school records.

Another consequence of PAS is people who enter therapy consumed with fear that the other parent is turning their children against them. Such parents will be desperate for advice and guidance about how to cope with the chronic provocation of the other parent. These parents live with anxiety, depression, and helplessness, as well as feelings of victimisation by the other parent, the child, and myriad systems (legal, mental health, school) that are not always responsive to the needs of targeted parents.

In all these cases, one parent has engineered the child’s rejection of the other parent and poisoning the child’s relationship with the other parent generally in the absence of just cause.

Parental alienation is a set of strategies that a parent uses to foster a child’s rejection of the other parent. Parental alienation syndrome develops in children who come to hate, fear, and reject the targeted parent as someone unworthy of having a relationship with them. Richard Gardner, PhD, described in?The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Guide for Mental Health and Legal Professionals?that there are eight behavioural components that have been validated in a survey of targeted parents of severely alienated children (Baker & Darnall, 2007).

Eight Manifestations of Parental Alienation Syndrome

  1. A Campaign of Denigration
    Alienated children are consumed with hatred of the targeted parent. They deny any positive past experiences and reject all contact and communication. Parents who were once loved and valued seemingly overnight become hated and feared.
  2. Weak, Frivolous, and Absurd Rationalisations
    When alienated children are questioned about the reasons for their intense hostility toward the targeted parent, the explanations offered are not of the magnitude that typically would lead a child to reject a parent. These children may complain about the parent’s eating habits, food preparation, or appearance. They may also make wild accusations that could not possibly be true.
  3. Lack of Ambivalence About the Alienating Parent
    Alienated children exhibit a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealised support. That parent is perceived as perfect, while the other is perceived as wholly flawed. If an alienated child is asked to identify just one negative aspect of the alienating parent, he or she will probably draw a complete blank. This presentation is in contrast to the fact that most children have mixed feelings about even the best of parents and can usually talk about each parent as having both good and bad qualities. This is a normal state of affairs.
  4. The “Independent Thinker” Phenomenon
    Even though alienated children appear to be unduly influenced by the alienating parent, they will adamantly insist that the decision to reject the targeted parent is theirs alone. They deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent and often invoke the concept of free will to describe their decision.
  5. Absence of Guilt About the Treatment of the Targeted Parent
    Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favours, or child support provided by the targeted parent is non-existent. Children with parental alienation syndrome will often try to get whatever they can from that parent, declaring that it is owed to them.
  6. Reflexive Support for the Alienating Parent in Parental Conflict
    Intact families, as well as recently separated and long-divorced couples, will have occasion for disagreement and conflict. In all cases, the alienated child will side with the alienating parent, regardless of how absurd or baseless that parent’s position may be. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with inter-parental conflicts. Children with parental alienation syndrome have no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say makes any difference to these children.
  7. Presence of Borrowed Scenarios
    Alienated children often make accusations toward the targeted parent that utilise phrases and ideas adopted from the alienating parent. Indications that a scenario is borrowed include the use of words or ideas that the child does not appear to understand, speaking in a scripted or robotic fashion, as well as making accusations that cannot be supported with detail.
  8. Rejection of Extended Family
    Finally, the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so are his or her extended family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are suddenly and completely avoided and rejected.

In a recent study (Baker & Darnall, 2007), targeted parents rated their children as experiencing these eight behavioural manifestations in a way that was generally consistent with Gardner’s theory. Parents reported that their children exhibited the eight behaviours with a high degree of frequency. One exception was alienated children being able to maintain a relationship with some members of the targeted parent’s extended family, which occurred in cases where that relative was actually aligned with the alienating parent.

Emotional, Physical, and Sexual Abuse

Many alienated children report that the alienating parent had emotionally, physically, or sexually abused them. These data put to rest the prevailing notion that all children (in their naive wisdom) will ally themselves with the parent better able to attend to their needs. The people interviewed appeared to side with the parent on whom they had become dependent and whose approval they were most afraid of losing, not the parent who was most sensitive or capable.

Cult Parallels

Cults offer a useful example for understanding parental alienation syndrome. Alienating parents appear to use many emotional manipulation and thought reform strategies that cult leaders use. Awareness of this analogy can help individuals who experienced parental alienation syndrome understand how they came to ally with a parent who was ultimately abusive and damaging. The analogy is also helpful for understanding the recovery and healing process.

The research and clinical literature on recovery from cults offers useful ideas for adult children of parental alienation syndrome. For example, the way in which a person leaves a cult has ramifications for the recovery process. Cult members can walk away from a cult, be cast out of a cult, or be counselled out of a cult. Those who walk away (come to the realisation on their own that the cult is not healthy for them) and those who are counselled out (those who are exposed to a deliberate experience designed to instigate the desire to leave) tend to fare better than those who are cast out (those who are rejected from the cult for failing to meet its regulations and strictures) (Langone, 1994).

Regardless of how the cult is abandoned, leaving represents only the beginning of the recovery process. Considerable time and effort is required (usually in therapy) to process the experience and undo the negative messages from the cult that have become incorporated into the self. The same may be true of adult children of parental alienation syndrome.

Different Pathways to Realisation

There appear to be many different pathways to the realisation that one has been manipulated by a parent to unnecessarily reject the other parent. Eleven methods were described by research participants. This represents both good and bad news. The good news is that there are many different ways to evolve from alienation to realisation. The bad news is that there is no silver bullet or magic wand to spark that process. For some participants, it was a matter of time and gaining life experience. For others, it was the alienating parent turning on them and, for others, it was becoming a parent and being the target of parental alienation from their own children. For most, the process was just that—a process.

There were a few epiphanies, but most experienced something like a slow chipping away of a long-held belief system, a slow awakening to a different truth and a more authentic self. Most gained self-respect and a connection to reality and were grateful to know “the truth.” At the same time, they acknowledged that this truth was hard won and quite painful. Once they were aware of the parental alienation, they had to come to terms with some painful truths, including that the alienating parent did not have their best interest at heart, that as children they had probably behaved very badly toward someone who did not deserve such treatment, and that they missed out on a relationship that may have had real value and benefit to them.

Long-Term Negative Effects

Not surprisingly, many adult children with parental alienation syndrome believe that the experience had negative long-term consequences for them. Many speak of suffering from depression, turning to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, failed relationships and multiple divorces and, most sadly, becoming alienated from their own children later in life. In this way, the inter-generational cycle of parental alienation syndrome is perpetuated.

Wide Range of Alienation Tactics

The adult children with parental alienation syndrome described a range of alienating strategies, including constant bad-mouthing of the targeted parent, chronic interference with visitation and communication, and emotional manipulation to choose one parent over the other. These same strategies were confirmed in a subsequent study of targeted parents by Baker & Darnall in 2006.

Working With Targeted Parents

In my work with parents who are facing parental alienation, I see the need to offer support, education, and guidance. My primary role is to help the person become educated about parental alienation (what are primary behaviours that turn a child against the other parent) and parental alienation syndrome (what are the behavioural manifestations of an alienated child) so the parent can determine whether this is in fact the problem. These parents must be encouraged to look at themselves and their relationship with their children prior to blaming the other parent for their difficulties.

If the conclusion is that parental alienation is at work, the targeted parent can learn a series of responses to parental alienation that can allow the targeted parent to maintain the high road while not becoming overly passive or reactive. Such parents need ongoing validation and support in dealing with the pain and suffering associated with parental alienation.

Working With Alienated Children

In working with older children who are currently alienated, I assist them to be self-reflective and aware so that they do not ally with the alienating parent against the targeted parent. A second concern is avoiding becoming intimidated or manipulated by the alienating parent. I assist the child to develop age-appropriate critical thinking skills in order to enhance his or her ability to resist the pressure to choose sides. The targeted parent and the child’s relationship with that parent must be validated for the child. I act as a role model who values and respects the targeted parent in order to counter the ongoing message that this parent is inadequate and someone to be discarded.

Parental alienation is a complicated and painful issue. I aim to provide people with information, guidance and hope in my work with them.

How Do the Courts Deal with Parental Alienation?

While the courts can deal with cases of parental alienation under Australian family law in extreme cases, generally, your first approach should be to resolve the issue with dispute resolution mechanisms such as mediation or collaborative law.

If these methods do not work, the alienated parent can take the issue to court. As with any?children’s matter, the court will always consider what is in the?best interests of the child. Under section 60CC of the?Family Law Act 1975, the primary considerations for this are:

“(a) the benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both of the child’s parents; and
(b) ?the need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm from being subjected to, or exposed to, abuse, neglect or family violence.”

 If it can be proven that there is evidence of family violence, including psychological harm, then the need to protect the child from physical and psychological harm will come first ahead of any other consideration.

What You Should Do If You Experience Parental Alienation

If you’re experiencing parental alienation and negotiating with your ex-spouse on your own accord has been unsuccessful, then you should consider mediation or collaborative law as a next step. The key differences between these two services is that?mediation?requires a neutral third party to remain impartial and offer no advice, whereas,?Collaborative Law?allows for both parties and their lawyers to work together to resolve the conflict.

If these techniques do not work for your parental alienation situation, you should obtain legal assistance from an?experienced family lawyer?and seek an order through the Australian family law system. This court order allows the alienated parent to request a change in the child’s primary residence from one parent to the other. Remember, your child’s welfare should be your top priority when dealing with parental alienation. Make sure you do not over-share your opinions or concerns with your child during this process.

Specific Examples of Parental Alienation Tactics

 Psychological Manipulation

  1. Negative Talk: Constantly criticising or badmouthing the other parent in front of the child.
  2. False Allegations: Making false claims of abuse or neglect to paint the other parent in a bad light.
  3. Undermining Authority: Undermining the other parent’s rules and decisions to create a sense of chaos and distrust.
  4. Guilt Induction: Making the child feel guilty for spending time with or showing affection toward the other parent.
  5. Emotional Manipulation: Using the child’s love and loyalty as tools to turn them against the other parent.

Restricting Contact

  1. Blocking Communication: Refusing to allow phone calls, emails, or other forms of communication between the child and the other parent.
  2. Withholding Information: Not sharing important information about the child’s life, such as school events, medical appointments, or extracurricular activities.
  3. Interfering with Visits: Scheduling activities or creating obstacles that prevent the child from spending time with the other parent.

Manipulation of Legal and Financial Systems

  1. Manipulating Custody Arrangements: Consistently violating or manipulating custody agreements to reduce the other parent’s time with the child.
  2. Abuse of Legal System: Filing frivolous legal actions to harass or burden the other parent.
  3. False Reporting: Making false reports to authorities like Child Protective Services to create legal troubles for the other parent.

Systemic Abuse

  1. Manipulation of the Child Support Agency: Providing false information or manipulating income details to unfairly alter child support obligations.
  2. ATO Manipulation: Misreporting financial information to the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) to create financial difficulties for the other parent or to influence child support calculations.
  3. Exploiting Welfare Systems: Misusing welfare benefits or public assistance programs to gain financial leverage over the other parent.

Social and Emotional Tactics

  1. Isolation: Isolating the child from extended family and friends who are supportive of the other parent.
  2. Controlling Social Media: Monitoring or restricting the child’s use of social media to prevent them from communicating with the other parent.
  3. Inappropriate Confidant: Treating the child as a confidante and sharing inappropriate adult information about the other parent.

Psychological and Emotional Tactics

  1. Creating Dependency: Making the child emotionally dependent on the alienating parent by fostering an unhealthy level of closeness and dependency.
  2. Rewriting History: Distorting past events to create a false narrative about the other parent.
  3. Forcing Loyalty: Forcing the child to choose sides, often under the threat of withdrawal of love or support.

Conclusion

These tactics can have severe and long-lasting effects on both the child and the alienated parent. Recognising these behaviours is the first step towards addressing and mitigating the impact of parental alienation.

References

Baker, A. J. L. (2007). Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Breaking the ties that bind. New York: W. W. Norton.

Baker, A. J. L. & Darnall, D. (2006). Behaviors and strategies employed in parental alienation: A survey of parental experiences. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 45 (1/2), 97-124.

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Written by Merryl Gee BSocWk (UQ) AMHSW CSW MAASW (ACC) MANZMHA MAAFT (Prof)

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